Nice ABCDs

By KESLS RAM -

Learn your A-BCDs. University of Washington psychologist John Gottman identified four communication behaviors that derail conversations so consistently that he refers to them as "the four horsemen of the apocalypse." With a mnemonic modification to Gottman's formulation, I teach clients to avoid torpedoing conversations by "learning your A-BCDs," by which I mean learning to Avoid Blame, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.

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